How rude of me. I went on about a personal problem without properly introducing myself.
My name is Locke. Okay, not really, but you didn’t expect me to use my real name did you? For all intents and purposes to you, the reader, I am Locke Kosta.
Don’t worry, it’s the only thing I’ll lie about. It’s more of a pen name than a way to conceal my identity. I actually prefer it over my given name and have thought about changing it, but the process to do so is more of a chore than simply telling people a new name.
Anyway, welcome to my blog! (Was that too long to wait to say hi?) This is meant to be a personal journal of sorts. A place where I intend to write what’s going on in my life and random thoughts or ideas I feel like talking about.
I’m 24 years old and have had what I believe to be a rather unusual life. I’ve been working since I was 12 – until recently that is – and this isn’t the first time I’ve been homeless.
Oh sorry, did I gloss over that fact? The blog is called Broke and Homeless after all. What do you think that referred to? Some existential meandering about my mental state? No, I assure you I’m quite broke and homeless.
I ended up this way because I made a bad decision. I decided to take on a nice little paying job and put college on hold with three classes left to go. While making a nice little wage, I also chose to upgrade my Honda “Deathtrap” – a 96 Honda Accord that was on its last legs – to a brand new 2014 Kia Optima with leather interior and the works.
I was flying high for about 8 months before I got laid off. Now I’ve been jobless for about 6 months with no income, my car has been repossessed, and any day now I’m getting evicted.
Sorry, guess I lied again. I’m not quite homeless yet, just about to be. I’m two months late on rent as of four days ago and this place won’t take kindly to that fact for very long. So yes, I’m jumping the gun with the “homeless” bit of Broke and Homeless, but it won’t remain that way for long.
During the time between being laid off and now I suddenly found that I’d lost the will to live. I don’t mean I was depressed. It’s not as simple as that, and as a psych major I’m well versed in the signs of clinical depression. I just gave up caring about living.
You see, there’s this thing call “the cost of living”. In order to go on breathing you have to constantly be working towards providing yourself with the bare essentials necessary to live. All of these things – shelter, food, water, etc – come at a price and that price differs depending on where you live. The overall cost of these bare essentials make up the cost of living.
I gave up caring about making the cost of living. I knew my car’s repossession was imminent. That I would be evicted and have nothing to eat eventually. I just didn’t care. I stopped looking for work and started lounging around, distracting myself however I possibly could. Movies, music, video games, etc. Death would come soon and I would simply wait for it.
I wasn’t sad about it. It was just a fact of life. I made a string of bad decisions based off one bad decision and I lost at life. Game over. GG. Sometimes you just have to know when you’ve lost.
This lasted a couple months until about a week ago. The thought of being homeless sparked something in me. It was like a challenge from the world – one I’ve been in before in fact.
The more I thought about it, the more I became motivated. I’ve fought back from homelessness before. Why not do it again? Come back stronger with the lessons I’ve learned from my mistakes.
It’s a clean slate at rock bottom. The only way from here is up and it can be any way I want. No one wants to hire me? Fine, I’ll start my business back up and make it better than ever. All I need is a computer and an internet connection, and it just so happens I have a laptop and Wi-Fi is all around us.
So that’s where I’m at right now. That’s where you come in. I’ll write here every day. The post may be 300 words, it may be 1500 words. It might be about what I did that day or a random thought I had about seagulls. Who knows? I don’t.
Regardless, I invite you along for the ride. Feel free to comment and I’ll probably comment back. Or feel free to lurk and check in for updates from time or time. Or never come back – that’s an option too.
Whatever you decide, welcome. And here’s hoping you enjoy the bumpy, curvy, adrenaline-pumping pulse-pounding, insanity-inducing ride.
I know I intend to.