Today was one of those shitty days – which is saying something considering my current predicament. It wasn’t becoming flat broke, i.e. having literally not a penny to my name. It’s thinking about all the times I’ve been turned down so far. That feeling where enough people have told you you’re no good that it’s hard not to believe it anymore.
Let’s recap my most recent “work history”, shall we?
My last regular interview for a basic retail position was a sales opening at Best Buy. I have over five years of sales experience, the interview seemed to go great, and I didn’t get the job.
So I try to start up my freelance business and even go so far as to create a Fiverr account. Within an hour I get my first Fiverr order for five articles from a client who says he has more work available too. I complete and deliver the articles a day earlier than the three day deadline, and I never hear from the guy again. I didn’t get a review or even a brief “Thanks” message. Nothing.
Next up I have someone respond to a job proposal, asking me to write a brief 100 word sample. I normally don’t write samples at all, but I’m desperate at this point and end up writing 200 words within 30 minutes of the request. Again, I hear nothing back and they end up hiring someone else.
After that I got a trial job to write employee biographies for an internet-based company. They paid me to write two bios and said I would be matched up against two other writers. Whoever had the best bios would be hired to write bios for everyone in their company.
Now, I want to talk about this one a bit in particular. At first they said they wanted something different from your typical resume style bio, which is where you basically just list all the profile points in paragraph form. It’s boring and basically what every company does for its “About Us” page, but everyone – by which I mostly mean old rich people – considers these bios to be the professional standard. Since I was told they wanted something livelier I decided to have fun with the bios.
I had to wait about three weeks for the other two writers to submit their two 300 – 500 word bios. I didn’t win, but neither did the other two. The client sent back the bios with notes that criticized my bios for not being like more “professional” bios. Apparently they want bios that aren’t like traditional bios but still read like traditional bios. Feel free to let me know when you figure that one out.
Anyway, they asked me to submit rewrites based on their notes. Remember, I’m desperate. So I cleaned up the bios I wrote to be more traditional and resubmitted them. Now I have to wait a month for the other two writers to do the same AND for the company to find two more writers to try out. I’m not holding my breath on that project going anywhere.
After that fiasco, I heard back on another job proposal I submitted where I asked the client for a bit more information on their job. He asked for particulars and I responded back, fairly confident that I would land the job. Then a week went by and I heard nothing. I never got a response, despite asking three questions, and he apparently never hired anyone. So I sent a message asking about the status of the project and he said, “I am still in the interviewing stage of this project.”
For those unfamiliar with client negotiations, that means I didn’t get it. I went back over my 200 word response and low-and-behold there was one typo – an instance where I was forgot to write the word “you”. One little typing mistake made within an old ass forum messaging system because I was thinking faster than I was typing. I know I read it over twice but sometimes you just miss stuff. Anyway, it’s enough to lose a project over when you’re a writer so I’m not really surprised, just irritated.
Then the latest “opportunity” that transpired yesterday. I had a skype interview with someone regarding a pretty vague project. The employer is looking for people to conceptualize an idea. While speaking over Skype he said he was going to send me some extra materials on the matter, but failed to do so. As the interview wound down I asked after the stuff he meant to send and he acted like it was a simple oversight, but instead of sending anything he said he’d get his team in touch with me and that we’d move forward from there.
It’s been over twenty-four hours and I haven’t heard a peep. While we were talking his team was supposedly looking at my portfolio, so it’s reasonable to assume they weren’t impressed and I was brushed off.
I have no delusions of grandeur. I don’t think I’m god’s gift to literature, but after a while it becomes hard to ignore all the signs yelling “YOU SUCK!” And I lack motivation on a good day.
I really don’t have anything else. This is it. I’m out of money and in a few days I’ll be out of time. There really isn’t much left to do but enjoy the weekend however I can and… go from there, I guess…