Let’s be honest with each other. You’re not really looking for a writer. If you were, you wouldn’t be on this site. Instead you’d create a job listing and rearrange a bunch of cover letters before playing “Eeny, meeny, miny, moe” with an Everest-sized stack of resumes.
It’s okay, no need to apologize. I learned a long time ago that writers aren’t valued. Everyone and their butt hamster thinks they can write. They got a passing grade in English too!
Yet for some reason you decided to click the link anyway. I might as well give it a good old college try. (Considering my version of trying in college was not showing up to class and still making an A, I’ll endeavor to do a bit better here.)
I’ve been professionally writing for over seven years, meaning I’ve been paid to type words into Word and taken those funds to stave off bouts of homelessness. Most of my work is ghostwriting that falls under NDA. I can’t talk about it, use it as samples or ever acknowledge I wrote it under any circumstances. I’ve also written everything from blog blurbs to mathematics textbooks and white papers for Fortune 500 companies. The only thing I don’t write are grant proposals.
Also, when I say I’m a ‘professional’, it’s a subtle hint that I DO NOT WORK FOR FREE.
I don’t write on spec.
I don’t write custom samples.
I don’t write for promises.
No exceptions. I don’t care who you are or what you’re promising, even if it’s a dream job in the games or movie industry. I value my work and the skills I’m continuously cultivating.
I’ve also been in sales for over a decade and understand marketing on the web better than the back of my hand. (Who really knows the back of their hand that well anyway? It’s the front everyone’s familiar with.) SEO, Adsense, DFP, leaderboard positioning, optimal ad sizes, social media marketing, email campaigning, etc. If you’re trying to sell something on the internet – be it yourself, a product or even if you’re simply trying to gain traffic – I can help.
The best way to reach me is via email at firstname.lastname@example.org. I’m open to the idea of hiring on to a company and have the ability to move anywhere at a moment’s notice. (GET ME OUT OF FREELANCING PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE!) But I do take on contract work big and small pretty much 24/7.
So contact me and we can talk details. Whatever your situation is, I can either work something out with you or at least help you figure out an appropriate next step towards your goals. Don’t be shy.
Hope to hear from you soon,
– Fletcher Martin (aka Locke Kosta)